Agent Loi, Princess Leah Kai and the Moon

A short story by K.C. Amador

April 2022

To Special Agent Loi,

Hey, it's been a while since we chatted. You used to make me feel nervous around you. Stealing glances at you every chance I get.

Pink blushes over the clouds as the sunsets. The dawn of spring here is reminiscent of the summer we spent before going to university in 2013. You were off to Maritime Academy, and I'm back to the city where I grew up.

Sorry, I abruptly ended us. I have been waiting for your letters for months. I look at the moon at night and think of you. I didn't hear anything from you since you left. Your friends told me that they got letters from you. I wondered if you met someone there and had forgotten about me.

It's been 9 years, and I suddenly missed how you used to make me feel. Dating in my mid-20s in the west is different from how it used to be when I was in the Philippines. I miss the butterflies in my stomach, that teenage love. I wish I could feel it all over again. I want your sweet little messages, the sound of your voice over the phone.

You don't know this, but I kept the 10pesos coin you paid for our last trip together. I remember we held hands that day. You were so sweet, so gentle, so patient. I wish you kissed me.

In sophomore, we stayed friends, and did you know I've always envied your ex? I wish it would have been me. Why did it have to be her? That person you wrote a poem for your school paper. 

In the first year of high school, how could I never have let you love me? I always thought you were too nice. Loving you would have saved me from me. Do you still have the photo of us on the Ferris wheel? Up above in the dark night, us looking at the stars, sitting beside you, everything else didn't matter; I knew at this moment you captured my heart. However, I could never admit this to myself as I kept choosing the wrong person.

I wish I would have allowed myself to be loved. I guess I never really knew what love was supposed to feel like. And when I finally realised I love you, it was too late. We only had a few weeks of summer left until we parted ways. I guess fate is never in our favour.

2 years ago, in August 2019, we crossed paths, two hours spent in the busy streets of Liverpool Town. The loud music from the bars and the noise from people celebrating the Beatles festival overlapped our conversations. How do we do this? Where do we go from here? The last time I saw you, I was so in love with you.

I sought a familiar feeling. It's different this time. I am overcompensating for my life here in London. I should have been honest. I was sad. I've been sad for a while now. I thought reconnecting with you would somehow make me feel alive.

Love,

Princess Leah Kai

Leah drafted a message to Loi on her notes app. She's contemplating whether she should send it to him but decides not to do it. She's sitting on the bus on her way to do groceries. She looks at the sunset through the bus window whilst listening to the same music. She opens her messages again and typed to Loi:

LK: Hey, do you remember anything from the summer of 2013?

***

March 2013

Leah had her hair straightened, and makeup was done for her senior year photo shoot. During break time, she sat with her friends Mae, Pia and Laurie. They are talking about their relationships and what will happen when they go to university. Leah told them about her boyfriend. She calls him Special Agent Loi, and he calls her Princess Leah Kai; it's a secret endearment between them.

Mae asked, "how will you maintain a long-distance relationship? It is going to be tough."

Laurie said, "you shouldn't be in a relationship when you go to university. It's the perfect time to date and to meet guys."

Leah responded to Laurie, "How about your bf? He wants to be a seaman too. Gosh, have you seen them in white uniform? and I would love to see my bf wear his white uniform on our wedding day."

The bell rang, and they went back to the studio to finish the shoot.

***

Leah was 16 when she dated Agent Loi, but she had known him since she was 13, and they already had a thing back then. Loi was friends with Toni, Leah's friend from elementary school. Whenever Leah's previous relationship ended, Loi was always there for her. He's her anchor, her saviour, her knight in shining armour. Loi saves Leah from the dragons who kept her in their towers. She's been held captive so many times, and when he finally got her out, it was time for them to go on a different journey.

***

I, the moon, your only witness, I confess

the existence of letters unbeknownst to Leah

To Agent Loi, I glimmer over the sombreness

of the nights you spent in the Academy.

In the darkness, I shall shine as brightly as I could

To remind you no matter how big the world seems,

you're standing under the same sky with Leah

looking at me in awe of my ethereal glow,

As long as I exist, you'll always have me

A witness for your everlasting love.

-      Moon, 2013

***